Somewhere Above
by MoonDeity
Summary: Looking up at the night sky, wondering what's not to be and what could have been, Beastboy sings a heartfelt sonata to the heavens, and thinks about her. BBRae, Songfic, Oneshot. Train. Happy birthday, Dana.


**MoonDeity: **Well, as all things go, there is the need to write that desperate one-shot angsty songfic…one songfic…but this songfic is different. This is dedicated to meh good pal Dana, for today is July 3rd, her……….pauses for dramatic effect……………..birthday. Dana has an account here, and she is a BBRae shipper, so, Dana, here is your birthday present. I did my best.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. All lyrics are copyright of Train.

**Summary: **Looking up at the night sky, wondering what's not to be and what could have been, Beastboy sings a heartfelt sonata to the heavens, and thinks about her. BBRae, Songfic, One-shot. Train. Happy birthday, Dana.

**Songfic:** The song being used is "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. Believe it or not, the song actually fits in with the fiction. And, coincidentally ( .. . ) "Drops of Jupiter" happens to be the favorite song of Dana. This be her birthday present.

**Obligatory Quote-o-Wisdom: **

"If I were a raisin, I'd eat myself!" –HolyJudgementx

**Category:** Angst/Spiritual

**WISH DANA HAPPY BIRTHDAY! **

Ahem…right, onto the angst.

Somewhere Above 

Nighttime. It was both beautiful and horrible, depending on how you looked at it. Night off Titan's Tower was almost always gorgeous—sitting on a rock in the middle of the bay, being able to look up at the stars in a sky unclouded by city smog. She had loved it here; to sit on the edge of the shore where the waves crashed up to wet the rocks, staring at the stars on one of her many sleepless nights. Many moments, he had looked out at her from his window, sitting with her back to him, her short hair stirred by a cool breeze, and he'd feel rare calm staring into her equally placid aura.

Now, he took her place at the rocks, watching the waves, the stars, the city lights reflecting off the bay. Maybe he felt it was obligatory; to fill a column that stood empty. Maybe he just wanted to feel what she felt, as she stared up at the sky.

Beastboy shifted his legs and rubbed blood into his calves. His legs were numb from sitting so long on the sharp rocks, and he leaned back, finding the familiar nook in which he could rest his back. A flat surface cradled his head, and his eyes were met with the stars.

So calm.

The night, the air, the sky, calm and dark, like she was. How long had it been? How many days, months, was it since she disappeared into the portal? Raven, taking her curse back with her to Azarath, taking her destiny and prophecy back into the stars. Gone, for however long it would take to set things right. Gone, forever, into the sky.

She took more than the curse and worlds end with her into the portal that day. She took a large part out of all the Titan's lives. Her rhythmic chanting never filled the all too silent corridors of the tower. There was never the crackling sound of the Gamestation being blown up after too many a controller was thrown her way. The ringing sound of her empathic energy was never heard. Like she'd died, everyone would avoid talking about her, going past her room. He was the only one who did anymore. Like he was struggling to keep her alive in his mind. He found himself trying to meditate, bring back the words that she had said so monotonously. Brewing herbal tea early in the mornings, to get back her subtle scent into the tower. Sitting on the rocks, like he was doing now, where so many memories of him and her were stained.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere 

_With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey _

_She acts like summer and walks like rain_

_Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey_

_Since the return from her stay on the moon_

_She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey_

But she was more than a smell or a presence inside the Tower. She was like a mother. She'd always be there, no matter what she said about her emotions, to talk and to council. One of Beastboy's fonder memories of her was when she swept into his room, cleaned it up, and they ended the day laughing over an album of pictures she found stashed underneath a desk he never knew he had. But the way she acted, everything was so soothing and comforting. She could never be boring. She always spoke her mind, bore whatever was there, pointed out things that no one else would. She had a greater understanding of emotion than anyone else. Emotion was with her, yet she never showed it. It was like she was the island in the middle of the sea, because everyone could count on her cool and calm interior.

Tell me, did you sail across the sun 

_Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded_

_And that heaven is overrated _

She cared about them too. The Titans were her family, and she loved them more than anything. But that's why she had to go. On many hateful nights, Beastboy wondered if he loved her less, if that was possible, that maybe she would've stayed. But he didn't and she went. She took all the danger of her destiny and all the good things that made up Raven and disappeared into a portal of swirling red stars. To Azarath. Probably forever. Azarath was the place of magic and opportunity. She was there, somewhere among its ornate temples, breathing in its silky air among the lights of heaven, away from the lights of this city and the lights of the tower. What would she see there? Beastboy wondered this, looking at the lights that he himself had on earth. Looking up at the stars, he wondered, "Are we seeing the same stars?" Lights in the sky, all faded. Are her lights faded too?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star 

_One without a permanent scar_

_And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there _

What little time he had spent with Raven as her lover was classified under the sweetest memories of his life. He had always considered himself flawed to the core, but Raven, somehow, could see something different that made her choose him over all the others. She was a pretty goth chick, one who could walk into clubs and pick up a variety of skaters and punks and rockers. Maybe it's the green hair that she liked, or the fact that he wasn't a skater or punk or rocker. Whatever the reason, would she still remember him? Floating up there in Azarath, surrounded by telepaths that were probably more dashing than he? Would she miss him, floating in exotic flora, among the home she grew up in, the home she loved?

Now that she's back from that soul vacation 

_Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey_

_She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo _

_Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey_

If Raven ever did come back from that heaven among the stars, would it all be normal again? Would herbal tea once again fill the corridors, would meditation be engraved in the daily routine? Would she walk downtown with him, going into her favorite aromatherapy shops, protesting loudly as he dragged her into a lingerie store, whacking him with a thong as he forced her to accept it. And lecturing him on a subject on the way back to the tower, reminding him of this and that and why and when. Would he remember that? Would she remember that?

Now that she's back in the atmosphere 

_I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' jane _

_Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land _

Or would she even remember him, or love him, when she came back? It wasn't anything new, girls had dumped him before, but to look into her eyes and come back empty handed…just scared him more than Slade. Thinking of him not as the fun boyfriend she had, but as that annoying, little kid she was forced to live with, all the immaturity and egotistical rantings that she was forced to suffer through. He'd take back everyone and just keep his mouth shut if it meant happy memories of him for her. But didn't she tell him time and time again what fun she had? Wasn't he the only person who could make her smile, and even laugh?

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet 

_Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day_

_And head back to the milky way _

_And tell me, did Venus blow your mind_

_Was it everything you wanted to find _

_And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there _

But why even return. After all, this was plain, old, worn out polluted Earth. Nothing here but a bunch of villains endlessly causing crime and an ungrateful mayor to answer to. Out among the stars, out in Azarath, there was beauty and splendor. Much better than here—out there, there was wind to breathe and light to gaze in, a home to go to and a bed to sleep in that was half familiar. Raven had talked about her birthplace to him in the shadows of her room, where candles smoked and long shadows were thrown off books and globes. Was it still the Azarath she told him about? Was it still mind numbingly gorgeous, exotic, fantastical? Was it everything she said it would be—perfect? Was it anything compared to him?

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken 

_Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong_

_Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation_

_The best soy latte that you ever had….and me _

But surly there were some things about Earth that would tempt her to return. What about pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs? The things disgusted her, but when she did eat them, it put a smile on her face, just like everybody else. What about parties, loud, mind numbing music and dancing, and beating up bad guys until the sun went down? What about the great tofu wars, trying to get her to eat tofu eggs and bacon, the shock on her face when she tasted her first soy latte, how good it was, and how he caught her sneaking out of the tower to buy more. And what about when he was right beside her when she took that first sip of the latte? What about when he took her to the beach, the pool, the arcade, spending hours at the bowling ally? Their little dates and walks along the beach, weren't those memories and the temptation of doing them again sweet enough?

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet 

_Did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day _

_And head back toward the milky way _

Beastboy sighed and traced the stars gleaming underneath his glove. Somewhere, out there, Raven was dancing among the stars of her home and love. How could a place get more love than he. How could she be happier there than in his arms. But she probably was, in the beauty of the stars. Doing things that she could never be able to do here, seeing things, laughing and experiencing. Dancing along the light of day.

Sighing, Beastboy stood up, stretched, and began a slow walk towards the Titan's Tower. Let her be happy up there, happy where they couldn't give her pleasure. Dance along the milky way, chase shooting stars. And tell us all about it when, one day, you reenter our lives from the atmosphere and bring back drops of Jupiter and tell us, what you've seen and done, a fallen star, a streaking star, blazing along the milky way, dancing along the light of day, somewhere above…

**MoonDeity:** Alright, since this is a birthday present, you can't flame this, because that's just not nice. If you have nice birthday wishes, I shall forward them to the birthday girl. Or…she could just read them in the reviewers box. -- pastes anti-flame talismans on review box Courtesy o' Miroku.

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